I believe a relationship should be based on equality. If one partner tries to control the other one, he or she will incorrectly assume that their partner loves them because he or she says so. Most of the time, this sort of relationship is built trough immense amount of jealousy and threats. This is unhealthy since being in a partnership should not sacrifice happiness for the sake of others and not constitute a loss of individuality. The bottom line is a healthy relationship should be built upon trust. In this sense, having a fruitful, rewarding and empowering professional life may help to build a really healthy loving relationship based on equality so that neither he or she needs to compensate love for his or her partner’s monthly pay-check, pleasant gifts, or nice car.
“To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man’s injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?”
― Mahatma Gandhi“Sadly, the signals that allow men and women to find the partners who most please them are scrambled by the sexual insecurity initiated by beauty thinking. A woman who is self-conscious can’t relax to let her sensuality come into play. If she is hungry she will be tense. If she is “done up” she will be on the alert for her reflection in his eyes. If she is ashamed of her body, its movement will be stilled. If she does not feel entitled to claim attention, she will not demand that airspace to shine in. If his field of vision has been boxed in by “beauty”–a box continually shrinking–he simply will not see her, his real love, standing right before him.”
― Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women
My deliberate thoughts in a solitude night, Depok ― Jan 14th
A very good piece of how one views a relationship between a man and a woman. More surprisingly, it is written by a man who I thought was very conservative in one way or another. People do move forward and I’m glad that I can share my life with this man.